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Mindfulness refers to a collected presence of mind that allows (non-resistance, non-judgment) and receives (feels) our sense experience (sight, sound, touch, taste, smell and cognition/thoughts) and includes an element of recognition of the experience/orientation. For example, maybe we are being mindful of a feeling of sadness in the body - Mindfulness accepts and allows the feeling, feels the heaviness, achiness, upwelling of tears, and is able to recognize/orient toward that sensory experience as ‘sadness’. Alternately, we might be being mindful of doing the dishes - here we connect and receive the feeling of the warm soapy water while gently noting ‘washing’ (noting is meant to support recognition/orientation and collectedness of mind, which are connected qualities).
 
This combination of allowing, feeling and recognition/labeling requires balance. If you find yourself overwhelmed by a sense experience then executive function (the ability of the mind to orient, or to recognize and understand experience) goes offline. On the other end of the spectrum, we can remain fairly disconnected from the body and focus on intellectual recognition alone/mental orientation, but this is not sufficient for mindfulness to deepen. The unique combination of being connected and clear can allow us to be responsive to the inner or outer situation (or both!) and cultivate ease and freedom in the midst of a range of experiences. 
 
This awareness/presence of mind can then be turned to various particular experiences/phenomena for various purposes/intentions. For example, secular mindfulness in the west was drawn from ancient Buddhist meditation practices in which mindfulness was turned toward the process of experience changing/arising and passing away. This was intended to support us feeling more free and flexible because it allowed people to practice seeing that difficult moments would pass and that fixating on good moments also wasn’t beneficial. 
 
We can use mindfulness to focus on a variety of experiences with a variety of intentions and our intention is always critical to what benefit we find from practice. For example, if we use mindful attention to try and control our experience, we will often start to feel frustrated or to suffer. However, if we use mindful attention with curiosity and kindness we will often find benefit. The practice of honing beneficial intention is a whole practice in and of itself and is something we can bring mindfulness to as well!
 
There are times when we might find ourselves trying to practice mindfulness but feeling more and more stuck - sometimes when we are overwhelmed/having trouble finding balance then other tools are needed before we return to mindfulness practice. For example, if we have a strong emotion or difficult memory coming up, we might try mindfulness but find that we are very lost or feeling emotionally overwhelmed. At that time we might need other coping strategies, distress tolerance skills, or support for trauma responses, and you should feel free to shift over to that content and return to mindfulness content when you’re feeling more resourced.

For moderner’s and westerner’s there can be an addiction to intensity that is fed and fostered by a dominant culture of interwoven disconnection, over-stimulation, and dysregulation. Seeking intensity can be a way to access feeling when we feel numb or disconnected, and it can also be a distortion of our natural and healthy attempts to down-regulate.

The nervous system’s healthy cycles follow the shape of a bell curve - beginning slow and building toward more intensity/a brief more chaotic phase at the top of the curve followed by trending back down toward rest and digest. Once energy is building, much like a single nerve cell that needs to reach a certain threshold to ‘fire’, the energy needs to reach a certain threshold for the system to complete the arousal cycle and naturally begin to down-regulate. When we have been living well outside our thresholds (many of us live this way!) there can be overwhelm all the time, and an inability to ‘meet threshold’ in order to down regulate. Similarly, when we avoid activation consciously and unconsciously, sometimes we never reach the threshold needed for the system to integrate activation and settle in a natural way. 

The result is that, at times, there may be a need for intensity in order to find our way to relaxing. Maybe you’re in a relaxing place but you can’t quite relax and instead feel restless. In these moments, it could be helpful to play with finding beneficial forms of intensity. 

What makes intensity beneficial? The most important aspect here is that it is non-addictive. There are many forms of intensity that feed addiction cycles in which we never truly feel that our need is met but we repeat the same pattern over and over to try and get satisfaction. For example, we might experience this with binging television, social media scrolling, or love addiction, etc.

What are some forms of intensity that are wholesome and non-addictive? Here are some ideas I am playing with and I invite you to come up with some of your own:

Exercise

Dancing to fun/upbeat music

Romping/Wrestling/Play with friends or family members

Physical labor

More intense chanting and/or bowing practices

Visiting a waterfall, taking in a big storm, seeking out and connecting with intensity in nature

Kind, connected and grounded sexual connection (with oneself or another)

What are your ideas? What happens if you try regularly including some wholesome form of intensity in your life?