Wholesome/non-addictive Intensity

For moderner’s and westerner’s there can be an addiction to intensity that is fed and fostered by a dominant culture of interwoven disconnection, over-stimulation, and dysregulation. Seeking intensity can be a way to access feeling when we feel numb or disconnected, and it can also be a distortion of our natural and healthy attempts to down-regulate.

The nervous system’s healthy cycles follow the shape of a bell curve - beginning slow and building toward more intensity/a brief more chaotic phase at the top of the curve followed by trending back down toward rest and digest. Once energy is building, much like a single nerve cell that needs to reach a certain threshold to ‘fire’, the energy needs to reach a certain threshold for the system to complete the arousal cycle and naturally begin to down-regulate. When we have been living well outside our thresholds (many of us live this way!) there can be overwhelm all the time, and an inability to ‘meet threshold’ in order to down regulate. Similarly, when we avoid activation consciously and unconsciously, sometimes we never reach the threshold needed for the system to integrate activation and settle in a natural way. 

The result is that, at times, there may be a need for intensity in order to find our way to relaxing. Maybe you’re in a relaxing place but you can’t quite relax and instead feel restless. In these moments, it could be helpful to play with finding beneficial forms of intensity. 

What makes intensity beneficial? The most important aspect here is that it is non-addictive. There are many forms of intensity that feed addiction cycles in which we never truly feel that our need is met but we repeat the same pattern over and over to try and get satisfaction. For example, we might experience this with binging television, social media scrolling, or love addiction, etc.

What are some forms of intensity that are wholesome and non-addictive? Here are some ideas I am playing with and I invite you to come up with some of your own:

Exercise

Dancing to fun/upbeat music

Romping/Wrestling/Play with friends or family members

Physical labor

More intense chanting and/or bowing practices

Visiting a waterfall, taking in a big storm, seeking out and connecting with intensity in nature

Kind, connected and grounded sexual connection (with oneself or another)

What are your ideas? What happens if you try regularly including some wholesome form of intensity in your life?